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These two things go hand in hand with each other in many cases. My flat sits behind a door. The door has as lock. The lock has a key. I have the key. This is almost always true. However, on Thursday, after a shit day in the office, there was an anomily with that last bit; the bit where I’m supposed to have the key. You see, I didn’t. This meant I couldn’t get the lock unlocked, the door open, and into the flat. I should mention that there is an additional door with a lock with a key that was getting in the way even before the one to my flat. That’s because I live in a flat, and this is often the case…the extra door bit. Yes, so I couldn’t get to locks unlocked, two doors opened and into my flat (via the stairs).

It was cold and dark. I’d just cycled all the way home from a long day at work (an extra one and a half hours after I should have left) on a single-speed bike up a very steep hill only to find I was locked out. I checked every pocket on my person and in my bag. Nothing! I could not believe it. I phoned the office. No answer. I phoned Jenny’s mobile. She works at the office, but didn’t answer. Then she phoned me back. I hung up by accident. I phoned her again. She answered. She looked for my keys, but she couldn’t find them. Me thinking that girls suck meant I only 99% believed her, so I decided to get back on my bike and ventue out into the cold once more to head back to work to look for them myself.

Whilst all of this was happening, I should have been in the warm getting ready for a fun night out with the boys and girls from Vision Express’s No. 1 Information Services department, or the geeks as we are (not) known.

About 1/4 of the way there I decided I’d had enough. I knew that Lucy had a car for the week. I know other people with cars, but Lucy was closest and is the only one I was most sure of being kind enough to help out at such short notice. I stalked her outside of her house whilst she was in the shower. Then I phoned her. About five or ten minutes later we were driving to work in a car that was disguised poorly as a Fiat (the fiat badges were the only things that made me think it was a fiat). At VE HQ we were denied entry at the main entrance by a women disguised as a cleaner. We decided to head straight for the IS department, where we gained entry only to be met by James. He kept his eye on Lucy whilst I checked for the keys. Jenny had been telling the truth the whole time. Not all girls suck!

We headed back. Lucy was going out. She’d helped enough and I was making her late for going out. I went back to my flat. I tried the lady on the ground floor. Thankfully she was able to assist with a spare set of keys. I unlocked the locks, opened the doors and entered the flat. My keys sat on the floor of my room, smirking at me. Keys suck!

So, all of this happened the other day. Tonight, even with keys in hand I was unable to get into my flat. My housemate, who will be known as annoymous Jay, had actually locked me out by putting the catch on the lock! It was 11:30pm. I knocked. No answer. I phoned the landline. No answer. I phoned him mobile. He didn’t seem too ammused but let me in anyway.

James also locked himself out tonight! I’m not alone.